Coworking, professional, fun, networking, brainy, snarky.. What do these words mean? NextSpace! Let’s add a new word to the mix: literate. As of late 2011, NextSpaced has starting a “Reading Alone Sucks” business book club because powering through business books alone can be hard work. Fear no more! Each month ‘Spacers will have a chance to read a designated, informative, highly rated and relevant book, and then discuss it the first Tuesday of each month. Wanna check it out? Here are some insightful notes on “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Ury to give you an idea. Join in and stir up your biz brain!
Getting to Yes Summary:
-negotiate without giving in
-learn from doing
-it’s not about who wins, its how you make the deals
-be decent and get what you deserve (it doesn’t have to be one or the other)
Don’t Bargain over positions:
-mix of soft/hard negotiations
-change the game to negotiate on merits
-goals:
-reach wise/fair outcome efficiently/amicably
-solve problem
-yield to principle, not pressure
-what can you do, what can they do and what can a third party do
Separate ppl from problem: (soft on ppl, hard on problem)
-put yourself in their shoes
-understand their thinking
-change their perceptions: send them a message different than expected
-have them participate in process
-all emotions will come (don’t take it personally)
-allow them to let off steam
-don’t react to emotional outbursts
-use symbolic gestures (sometimes all you’ll need is an apology)
-communication is key
-active listening, speak with purpose, speak for understanding
-discuss problem, not the people
-build a working relationship
Focus on interests, not positions:
-behind positions are both shared and opposing interests
-find interests to determine common/uncommon ones
-ask why/why not?
-write them down
-be specific
-each side has multiple interests
-most powerful interests are basic human needs:
-security
-economic well-being
-sense of belonging
-recognition
-control over one’s life
-acknowledge their interests
-demonstrate appreciating their interests so they will appreciate yours
-put the problem before the answer
-look forward, not back
-be concrete yet flexible
Invent multiple options for mutual gain: (invent many, decide later)
-search for many answers, not only one
-separate inventing from deciding by brainstorming
-brainstorm-with your own side & with other side
-before:
1. Define purpose
2. Choose only a few participants
3. Change environment (this’ll suspend judgement)
4. Design informal atmosphere (relax!)
5. Choose one facilitator
-during:
1. Seat ppl on same side (physically will translate to mentally)
2. Clarify ground rules (no criticizing!)
3. Brainstorm-long list from every angle
4. Record ideas in full view (whiteboard)
-after:
1. star best ideas
2. improve/elaborate best ideas
3. set up time to evaluate and decide later (time to think alone helps)
-making offers are more effective than threats or warnings
Use Objective Criteria: principled agreement
-use fair standards (market value, scientific judgement, professional standards, efficiency, costs, moral standards, equal treatment, tradition, etc)
-reason/be open to reason on which standards are most appropriate
Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement (BATNA):
-protect yourself-never go along too quickly
-have a bottom line
-don’t be too committed to reaching an agreement (have an alternative)
-make the most of your assets (what you own/have to leverage)
-develop BATNA:
-develop a list if no agreements are reached
-take some of promising ideas and convert them to practical alternatives
-tentatively select best alternatives
-consider other sides BATNA
Negotiation Jujitsu:
-if they push hard, you’ll want to push back, but don’t push back
-don’t attack their position, look beyond it
-invite criticism/advice to your ideas without defending them
-ask questions and pause (silence is one of your best weapons)
-use “correct me if I’m wrong” phrase; don’t be attacking
-wait to make important decision (don’t make it on the spot)
If They Use Dirty Tricks:
-deliberate deception:
-phony facts (unless there’s a good reason to trust someone, don’t)
-incorrect authority
-just because they are negotiating with you does not meant they have authority to
-it’s legit to ask “how much authority do you have in this negotiation?”
-psychological warfare:
-stressful situation
-physical place of negotiation may’ve been chosen to stress you out (make suggestions for a change in scenery)
-personal attacks-attack appearance, status, refuse to listen, make you repeat yourself
-good cop, bad cop routine: you naturally want to give in/agree with good cop
-threats
-personal pressure:
-opposite party refuses to negotiate
-find their interest of why they don’t wan to negotiate
-extreme demands- bring this to their attention so they can see how redic it is
-escalate demands
-demands raised, resolved issues reopened
-call this to their attention and take a break (avoids impulse)
Dirty Tricks Helpful Insights
-establish deadlines, if a delay comes up, address it and restate deadline
-take it or leave it, use this tactic if you still cannot negotiate with other side
-don’t be a victim! treat them/negotiate the same way as you would family/friends
3 Best Take Aways:
-silence is powerful and can be your greatest weapon
-physical placement of people can influence negotiation (sit on same side of table, comfortable environments for both sides of the party)
-treat them as you would family/friends to come to fair and efficient resolutions
Posted in Biz Book Blog